I go to my GP every month. It seems more often than not they draw blood to run labs, whether it be to check my thyroid, my bloodsugar, my hemoglobin (to see if I'm getting enough iron) or whatever other random test they decide to do.
Based on my labs on last month's visit (3/15/2012, I believe) he told me he wanted me to start checking my sugars with a monitor because they were just a little high (now what did I eat before I went to my appt? I have no idea. sushi? taco bell? who knows). He wanted me to come back in before (last) month's end to pick up a (free) monitor, but.. I never made the appt.
When this month's appt rolled around (4/13/2012), I could no longer hide. I was "lucky" enough (depending on you definition of luck) to get a free monitor and the whole kit-n-caboodle via Liberty. My doc told me he wanted me to start checking and logging my sugars every other day; to check in the morning before breakfast and again in the evening 2 hours after dinner.
The plan all along (well, the plan I made for myself, that is) was to ease myself into the idea and to start the actual testing Monday (today). I woke up.. grabbed my kit.. sat down at the kitchen table and slowly started removing all the contents from the Liberty bag. I played around w 3 different needles before I figured out how to get the setting right. This went on for what seemed like 30 minutes. Once I finally felt I had everything set up properly and knew what I was doing, I turned on some music hoping it would calm me. I took a deep breath and put the device to my fingertip, but.. instead of pushing the "trigger".. I just started crying. I sat crying for a good few minutes.. just staring at the scene in front of me and this thing in my hand. What was I going to do? I got this free monitor. I had to start logging this - doctor's orders!
Well, I'm a bit of a picker, so.. I start looking for places on myself to "pick".. to scratch or squeeze. Sick, pathetic, but true. I finally manage to find this tiny little scab on my arm. I squeeze all the fresh blood I can out of it, but.. it just won't measure on the stick. :sigh:
Overall, obviously, a failed attempt. I just can't/couldn't do it. I'm a huge needle-phobe. I hate getting blood drawn. I'm like a 5 year old girl. (Actually, when I was a little girl, they had to literally hold me down to take blood. It was always a huge scene. I cried when I had to get shoots, even as a teenager.) It's bad.
The only positive spin on this is that I only have to do it every other day. That being said, my bf and I are going to try to work something out where he can help me. Maybe if he can do it for me and provide the comfort/support I need.. we can somehow make this work. I guess I/we'll try (again) tonight and see..
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